Recovering

On a physical level myself and my two passengers are doing much better. The pain has begun to subside. Our routine is thrown off a bit by me no having a car but other than that we are fine.


I spent lots of time thinking about how much worse the accident could have been. I’ve dealt with the feelings that were present and now besides feeling like an inconvenience, I’m doing ok. Auto and General, my insurance company is on top of things and I have faith that they will have my car sorted out in a few short weeks.

I have been busy at work though not motivated. I have completely neglected my thesis. I know I have to get things done but there is absolutely no motivation.

B and I are ok. I think he thinks that everything is just wonderful between us. It’s a bit different for me. I don’t think I’ve acted any different from before, but after out talk in Durban I am trying to be an easier person to be around – I try not to get irritated, I keep a good home, I cuddle, hug and talk to him, I listen when he talks…

I still like the relationship is on the verge of ending and it feels like I need to be ready because that end might just sneak up on me at any moment. I don’t like feeling like this. I want everything to be ok. I want him to make a commitment to me. I want to know that he is serious about forever. I also want to know if he isn’t serious about forever. I feel stagnant.

Went to see “It’s Complicated” last night. Been months since I last went out on a school night  The movie was funny at times and too realistic at times. Hoping to see “Valentine’s Day” and “Up in the Air” this weekend.