Today I woke up at 7am and felt like even though I had slept all night my brain had not. I was physically fine but my brain was tired - too much thinking. Need an off switch for my head!
B and I have not been doing great. No, actually we have been doing rather great... but just on the surface. Deep down he knows that I want to get married and eventually have kids some day. Deep down I know that he is scared, financially unfit and maybe just a little to safe to take the risk of marriage. We've had the arguments, the fights, the 'I think we should break up' conversations. I'm now tired. I don't want to be the one to put all this pressure on him. It hurts me to think that I'm the cause of his stress. I do love him so but I think that we are stuck at a cross road because we want to take different turns. We're supposed to want to take the same road. We're supposed to want to walk together.
I'm confused as to what I should do. I want to give up...
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