Nigeria

Landing at OR Tambo at 5am on the 14 October, I tried to think about what I would say if someone asked me how my trip to Nigeria was. I realised that I didn't know how I felt about the trip and even now I still can't put into words exactly what I felt being there. I have lots of stories. I have lots of experiences. I met some wonderful people. I realised that some people are not good travel partners. I realised that I am really fussy when it comes to food. Maybe soon I'll write a blog post about my trip but for now here are some photos :)

Airport in Lagos

Braaied cat fish

Lagos

Temperature at midday in Lagos

83%

Thats the provisional mark for my masters dissertation!

I'm going to Nigeria

So... after waiting some more I finally got my visa! I swear I was shaking as I stood at the counter while the lady (very slowly) looked through the passports to find mine.

I got my foreign exchange and now just need to get malaria tablets and pack!

Very very excited!

No visa yet

I was at the Nigerian embassy just after 9am this morning only to hear that the visas are not ready yet and I should come back later... feeling positive but also nervous.

Still have to pick up foreign currency, see doctor for script for malaria tablets, get waxed (all over), grocery shop and spend time with the people I love.

Counting down to 12 o clock....

Nervous

So I got invited to a meeting in Abuja, Nigeria. The meeting is taking place next week Tuesday. I was given a grant for the travel. Yay! All good so far, right?

Monday: I arrive at the Nigerian embassy with a smile on my face and my documents in hand. I wait an hour for the man I was told to see to arrive (oh teh wonderful life of a diplomat!). I show him my document and he tells me I am missing one document. I rush to the office, print the document and rush back to the embassy only to be told there is one more document outstanding. It's lunch time already and the embassy is about to close. I haven't eaten since morning and the smile I arrived with is wearing thin. I head back to the office to get said document and try to do some work.

Tuesday - I arrive bright and early at the embassy with outstanding document. Slightly nervous I submit my application and say a silent pray that I will be given my visa. They tell me to come back on Friday. I leave the embassy in a higher spirit than yesterday until I realise that I just left my passport at the Nigerian embassy and I have no copy at all - THE NIGERIAN EMBASSY! Small panic attack. Oh and I met a young guy at the embassy who is Nigerian and told me that everyone working in the embassy is corrupt - hence the panic attack.

Wednesday and Thursday - nervous about whether I will get the visa. Ticket is booked, hotel reservations made. I keep telling myself that I will get the visa and I will go to Nigeria! This is a once in a life time opportunity. God, if you're listening please let me get that visa tomorrow morning when I go to pick up my passport! Please!

Very nervous and excited. Will post update soon.

It's been a while...

It's obvious to see that I am not very good at this blogging thing. I do love to read blogs but when it comes to writing I tend to delay and then procrastinate and then delay some more and then it's too late to write down what I actually wanted to say.

So with the dissertation complete I have taken to movies on school nights, got back into a gym routine and caught up on TV and sleep. I am absolutely loving having my evenings free.

I've also been travelling a little more with work and if all goes well I will be in Nigeria (!) on 10 October. I've been to Durban a few times and once B even came with. Fun times.

I'm going to work on updating my blog a little more... there are so many things I want to say.

Oh and next year this time I'll be married :)

Dissertation Complete

Finally! I've waited three long years for this: My masters dissertation is complete! It's being shipped off to the London South Bank University today and within a week or two I should have my results. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.Yay me!

Soccer City

Last night I went to Soccer City to watch Argentina play Mexico and ultimately send them packing! It was a fabulous experience. It was also freezing cold.

Four years...

Today marks the end of the fourth year since we started dating. We've had our ups and downs but we mostly had a wonderful four years. We've grown together but also in our own ways. We've travelled together overseas and locally and managed to be on holiday together without any problems. We've laughed, a lot, and cried, a little, and maintained a happy home for 3 and a half years now.

Thank you.

Thank you for tolerating my obssesive need to clean all the time. Thank you for letting me rant about work, my studies and life in general. Thank you for always supporting me in what I've wanted to do. Thank you for loving me everyday of the past four years. Thank you for teaching me about patience and soccer and prawn curry from Calisto's.

I love you.

Blog titles

I realised that my previous blog entry title wasn't linked to the actual post (it's the academic in me) so I'm writing this one to say that I am grateful for B and I love that he treats me special and shows his love and affection for me.

I also want to say that I need to be more grateful for what I have and stop wanting - wanting does not make you happy.

Off to Durban tomorrow for a two day meeting. Maybe the fresh sea air will do me some good.

Being grateful

So I arrived home from work yesterday just before 6pm and started to cook chicken curry (yummy!). I was running a bit late with getting the food done when B walked in and suggested we go out for dinner. Sometimes that boy surprises me.


He wasn’t in a terribly good mood but eased up during dinner – thank the Lord the food was good and the service of a high standard. We even had dessert.

I’m still at a lost as to whether this relationship needs to end of if it’s worth fighting for. Is questioning the relationship a sign that it may be time to end it?

This morning he hugged me for absolutely no reason. Waited behind me while I choose what to wear and when I done, hugged me. He is trying, it’s clear. I see it in lots of ways. I am however slightly cold towards him because in my head we’re not at a good place. I’m sure he thinks we are at a good place even though we’ve talked and left issues hanging.

My brother may be getting married soon. I am surprised, happy for him and also sad that it wasn’t me first. It will be very exciting to have a wedding in the family. I can’t wait. Lots of outfits to buy for all the days that go along with Indian weddings.

My turn will come… I’m going to stay positive.

I want to make a bigger effort to pray more, to talk to God and let Him know how I feel and hopefully ease the mess that is going on inside my head.

Off to see if I can find a Samsung Notebook/(Netbook?)  My current laptop is too big and heavy to carry around when I travel.

Mentally exhausted

Today I woke up at 7am and felt like even though I had slept all night my brain had not. I was physically fine but my brain was tired - too much thinking. Need an off switch for my head!

B and I have not been doing great. No, actually we have been doing rather great... but just on the surface. Deep down he knows that I want to get married and eventually have kids some day. Deep down I know that he is scared, financially unfit and maybe just a little to safe to take the risk of marriage. We've had the arguments, the fights, the 'I think we should break up' conversations. I'm now tired. I don't want to be the one to put all this pressure on him. It hurts me to think that I'm the cause of his stress. I do love him so but I think that we are stuck at a cross road because we want to take different turns. We're supposed to want to take the same road. We're supposed to want to walk together.

I'm confused as to what I should do. I want to give up...

Distractions

Mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. Sometimes it all just feels too much. Must find a distraction. Work? Sleep would be a blessing. Too many thoughts in my head. So work it is.

I have one week to go to hand in my final draft of my thesis to my supervisor. One week! I have plenty to do. No more wasting time. I've taken one to many extensions.

My current to do list at work is pages long. I feel uninspired. Praying that next week will be a good week.

New offices

So it's been about two weeks since we've moved into our new offices (did I mention that it is just 2 beautiful kilometers from where I live?) and I rather like it. I must admit I miss having Woolies right downstairs.

Here is a pic of me working very hard at my desk in my new office (old desk but new office!)

My thesis is taking shape and much progress is being made on a daily basis. I hope to submit soon and then proceed to be a 'normal' person - someone who relaxes in the evenings after work, spends weekends doing fun stuff and stresses about less things.

Gorgeously overcast and misty and chilly today!

Have a facial at 5pm... and it's free :)

:(

That's how I feel...

It takes only a few words to make one realise that the way you see people is not necessarily the way people see you.

Today, I learnt that without effort from both parties, the relationship won't work.
Today, I learnt that by extending your hand to others does not mean they will extend their hand to you.
Today, I learnt that it more often than not it only takes a small thing to help you make a big decision.

On another note, a more pleasent one, I have decided to go ahead and have my couches re-upholstered in orange suede! I think it will look stunning with the cherry wood floors. Am very excited. Will post pics when all is ready.

And on another note, a much more pleasent one, I love my boyfriend :)

Yes, so in the end I've turned my frown upside down - OMG that is the most ridiculous thing I have said since starting this blog!

5 things that make me smile

• everytime i hear the 'you make joburg great' advert on the radio
• seeing my man after spending a whole day + night without him
• cuddles from my two kitties
• hot, yummy smelling curry
• new stationery

Volcanoes, taxis and working from home

Everyone is talking about the volcano with the funny name. The one in Iceland. The one that caused/causing the closing of airspace over much of Europe. I think it's cool.

Saw a taxi take a bend a little too fast today - the drive hit a light pole and then a tree, killing himself in the process. Poor tree. No sympathy for taxi drivers.

I'm working from home this week. The office move is due to happen on Wednesday next week but in the mean time the current office is being dissolved around us - hence the working from home where there is internet connectivity, a phone line and coffee on demand.

Went shopping today. Bought two pairs of shoes, a shirt, a jacket, a t-shirt and a jersey :) How I love shopping - especially if I'm doing it on my own. Had a leisurely lunch and then came home to find insurance quotes for participants who will be participating in a study on 2nd trimester abortions - fun stuff.

Unmotivated

to do my thesis, that is. I just can't seem to get myself to sit down and write. I have a good plan/outline, a rather detailed one but I can't get going on the actual writing. The worse part is that my thesis is due in TWO WEEKS!

Yes, I know screaming doesn't help.

Tzaneen, Limpopo Province

I'm in Tzaneen today and tomorrow.

I'm amazed at the beauty of the landscape, the friendliness of the people and their rather strange sense of humour.

I'm travelling with my boss. She really is a wonderful boss and a lovely person. 

We had a productive day today despite waking up at 4am, flying to Polokwane, driving to Tzaneen, participated in three meetings and dodged a cow or two while driving. And that just day one. Tomorrow we meet with the Department of Health, the chief of the area we will be working in and visit a clinic.

Right now I'm in a five star hotel - had a long, hot bath and in a little while will be heading down for dinner. Sometimes I love my job :)

Sometimes, I do love my job :)

Update

I'm really bad at this blog writing thing. I read a lot of blogs each morning because people update their blogs each day - unlike me. The great thing though is that this is MY blog so technically I can post something if and when I want.

So what has been happening?

I stopped searching for a new car. I wanted a Honda Jazz more than anything else but after B had an accident last week (yes, a month after mine, God is testing us both, yes at the same time!) I decided to accept my father's offer of using my mother's car until early next year when he will borrow me the money to buy a BRAND NEW HONDA JAZZ! Yay me. Need to cut back on buying shoes and start saving towards new car.

My mum's car arrives on Friday at the train station. I'll be mobile again. I won't have to wake up 6am to catch a 7am lift to work. I won't have to leave the office early everyday to catch a lift home. I won't need to ask B to take me shopping. Feeling very grateful right now. Relaxed too.

Work is as stressful as always. My boss and I came in on a Saturday to start organising the packing process which starts soon. We move offices on the 26 April. Can't wait. I'll be 2km from home. Yay me!

I've still not recovered fully from the flu but have in no way let it impact on my work or social life. I've not spent a single day in bed recovering.

I've taken an extension for my thesis. I cannot cope with all this accident, not having a car, B being in an accident drama - I will work during April on putting together a complete draft that my supervisor can comment on and then take it from there.

I'm trying to be positive. Each day I work at it and think of all the things I have and all the things I am grateful for. I'm still breathing, right?!

Hoping the long weekend ahead will see me working on my thesis and cathcing up on sleep and spending quality time with B.

Happy Easter!

Flu and the long weekend

I spent my long weekend either constantly drugged up or blowing my nose. The flu found me and four days later has still not let me go. Yet I came to work!

Despite feeling like I've been hit by a train, I managed to sit through Alice in Wonderland (in 3D) and Valentine's Day (yes I know it's a month later).

I enjoyed both movies and have another 5 on my current list of movies to see.

In other news - I applied for an extension for my thesis, I'm getting closer to finding a car and work is at a more manageble pace.

I spent four hours at work today without electricity which forced me to do the dreaded tasks like filing...

Remember Me

It's been a while since I cried while watching a movie. The messages that came through strong and clear in this movie, left me feeling... like I've wasted too much time, like I've not paid enough attention, like I've not said the right words when I had the chance.

Let me explain. - the movie is about Tyler who is 'undecided about everything.' His older brother committed suicide at the age of 22, his parents are divorced and his little sister is looked at as a 'freak of nature' by the girls in her school. Tyler is lost in the sense that he has no ambition, no goals and no passion for anything other than writing to his deceased brother. He often gets into trouble with the law and needs to be bailed out of jail. In one particular incident he is assaulted by a cop. He later falls in love with the cop’s daughter and things start to change, and not just for Tyler. Tyler’s sister and father form a better relationship with each, so does Tyler and his father. There is realization which leads to change, love, sense of family and forgiveness of oneself. Having faced the trauma of suicide, the family finally realizes that the pain and guilt they each suffered has driven them apart and are now trying to make things better.

And then 9/11 happens and Tyler is killed.

It was at this point that I realized my mouth was hanging open and there were tears streaming down my cheeks. I had a realization of my own – I am not in control. Death can come at anytime. We often waste time being angry at people we love, we don’t say ‘I love you’ enough, we don’t hug each other regularly, we don’t forgive easily.
There are definitely lessons to be learnt…

Cape Town

Spent a week with the family. Great company, fabulous food, beautiful memories.

Grumpy

Today I’m seriously pissed off.


I’m pissed off because some idiot without a license decided to drive drunk and hit my car.

I’m pissed off because since the accident I’ve had to ask for a lift to work, a lift home from work, a lift to the shops and a lift to the airport.

I’m pissed off that I have to go into debt now to buy another car.

I’m pissed off because my boyfriend thinks I’m overly sensitive and I read too deeply into things.

I’m pissed off because I’ve been neglecting my thesis.

I’m pissed off because I seem to have lost all motivation.

Done complaining. The next post will be more upbeat… I hope.

Recovering

On a physical level myself and my two passengers are doing much better. The pain has begun to subside. Our routine is thrown off a bit by me no having a car but other than that we are fine.


I spent lots of time thinking about how much worse the accident could have been. I’ve dealt with the feelings that were present and now besides feeling like an inconvenience, I’m doing ok. Auto and General, my insurance company is on top of things and I have faith that they will have my car sorted out in a few short weeks.

I have been busy at work though not motivated. I have completely neglected my thesis. I know I have to get things done but there is absolutely no motivation.

B and I are ok. I think he thinks that everything is just wonderful between us. It’s a bit different for me. I don’t think I’ve acted any different from before, but after out talk in Durban I am trying to be an easier person to be around – I try not to get irritated, I keep a good home, I cuddle, hug and talk to him, I listen when he talks…

I still like the relationship is on the verge of ending and it feels like I need to be ready because that end might just sneak up on me at any moment. I don’t like feeling like this. I want everything to be ok. I want him to make a commitment to me. I want to know that he is serious about forever. I also want to know if he isn’t serious about forever. I feel stagnant.

Went to see “It’s Complicated” last night. Been months since I last went out on a school night  The movie was funny at times and too realistic at times. Hoping to see “Valentine’s Day” and “Up in the Air” this weekend.

Accidents

Unfortunately I've had one.
On Friday night a drunk, unlicensed driver hit my car from behind (and also hit the car next to me). My passengers and I are ok. No serious injuries.
Am annoyed, frustrated and angry. Mostly I feel inconvenienced.

Will post photos when I get them.

Birthday's

It's my birthday :)

I'm 29. One year to go before I turn 30. The reason I started this blog.

I wanted to capture my life before I turn 30. I wanted the words on paper and the feelings and emotions captured in real time. So here goes...

My first day of being 29 - I feel fabulous. I had cake for dinner last night :) May have acquired a few smile lines but they indicate good times so I'm not complaining. I am grateful for what I have right now and ready to accept the challenges that face me. Today will be a good day. Tomorrow will be a good day. And every day after that I will find something that makes me smile.

Here's toasting to a fabulous 29 years!

Traffic

I live 7.5km away the office. Just 7.5km. But my God does the traffic suck!! I'm almost certain that last year I did not have to deal with any major traffic, I could get to work in 10 minutes and keep my sanity. 2010 seems to have brought with it a large amount of new drivers, with very little confidence and not much knowledge of how the rules of the road work.

I now spend 30 minutes or more each morning in the traffic, dodging assholes who don't seem to know where their indicators are located and women in huge SUV type cars breaking every few seconds for no apparent reason.

I fear I will loose my mind.

Luckily for me, we are moving! The office that is. We have decided to relocate to an office park that is home to other NGOs. The new place is 2km from my home :)

There definitely is a God :)

Home

Had an amazing time in Durban and Margate these past ten days. I'm home now and happy to be. Walking into my flat last night the first thing I did was to hug my two babies. That's Asif and Sophie up there - love them to bits. All the time I was away I kept wondering how they were doing. T looked after them - I'm sure she loves them almost as much as I do.

I'm happy to be back in my own bed, have all my clothes and shoes to choose from and to get back into routine.

I'll post some photos of my trip to the very top of the World Cup Stadium in Durban (when I download them, after catching up with all the other things I have to do!) I also went on a harbour cruise, had a three hour dinner on a boat, drove around Durban, discovered UKZN and sweated off half my body weight. Oh and I also threw up after being in the car for an hour - I am allergic to manual cars :(

B and I also had a heart to heart talk. The important thing is that things were said that needed to be said for a very long time.

Going to tackle my inobx...

Holidaying

Just over 24 hours at the coast and i feel like I’ve been on holiday for forever. i am relaxed, calm, clear headed and only slightly sun burnt from spending too much time at the pool and walking on the beach. Durban is still not my favorite place to visit but for now it’s just what i need – the ocean and sunshine, people i love and great food!

YMJG

http://youmakejoburggreat.wordpress.com/

Worth a read.
No doubt having the ocean at your front door and the mountain at your back door is something extraordinary, living in Joburg has its moments too. As a born Capetonian, living in Joburg for more than five years, I’ve grown to love this city – it’s trees, people, energy and gorgeous sunsets. Visit YMJG and share your special moments in this wonderful city we call home!

Johannesburg

I moved to this city almost five and a half years ago. It feels like home. It is home. My original home town, Cape Town, had become a holiday destination to me. A holiday destination where I have family.

I do love this city -crime, beggars, pollution and all.

But in a weeks time I'm off to the coast - Durban coast :( not Cape Town coast. Either way it's the coast and it's away from the city than demands you run with it. I feel like i've been running since forever and need to take a time out and catch my breath.

One more week of some serious deadlines and then I'm free for a glorious ten days :) Can't wait!

About time!

I’m going to Durban!


I got invited to spend a week on the coast to write my thesis with the ocean in the background and the fresh sea smell as inspiration. But as usual when it comes to taking leave, work suddenly jumps out of absolutely nowhere and messes up your plan.

Not for me.

I coincided the holiday/thesis writing trip with a work trip! Absolutely love when things work out just the way I want them to. Let me explain.

If I accepted the invite to Durban it would mean packing light so that everyone else’s luggage could fit in the car, driving for six (or more) hours there and then a week later another 6 (or more) hours back. Not ideal.

What I really wanted to was ensure that my organization gets the ethical approval it needs to start interviews for a study we are conducting at UKZN (University of KwaZulu Natal). Then, tell my dear boss that I am keen to do the interviews and what better time than the week that I will be in Durban – saving the NGO I work for accommodation cost – something my boss loves to hear!

So on the 6th February I will be flying to Durban, doing a bit of work from Monday to Wednesday and will be spending the rest of the days lying on the beach, writing my thesis, lounging at the pool, having fancy dinners and exploring Durban. Yay me!

I’ll be out of the office, with no domestic responsibilities and thinking with a clear head while I do my work and try to put together something comprehensive that looks like a master’s thesis.

PS. The excite has nothing to do with the fact that I am going to Durban (not a big fan of the place) and everything to do with being away from everything routine.

Me!

I’m a strong woman who perseveres, works hard and never gives up. I’m passionate and caring and my determination lies in the improvement of the lives of women in South Africa. I’m friendly and open and very easily make friends. I’m approachable and helpful and kind with little bouts of aggression when I hear of gender based violence, child abuse, government officials taking advantage and animal abuse.


I love yoga, reading and writing. I dislike a dirty kitchen but love to cook, hoping someone will come along and help tidy up. I love cats and going to the zoo. I dislike lies and tofu. I am loyal and will always offer my shoulder for a ‘snot and trane’ session.
The most freedom I have felt and can actually put into words is driving 160km pre hour on the N1 from Cape Town to Johannesburg. I believe strongly in human rights and equal opportunities. I’m a great aunt to my nieces and nephews and will never turn down the opportunity to hold a new born baby.

I try my best to do my bit for the environment and tend to get annoyed at people who drive ‘fuel guzzler’ cars and forget to switch lights off. I think we should stop drinking bottled water in places where the water is safe to lessen the amount of plastic that ends up in our oceans.

I love to travel and see and experience new things. I love talking and learning and feel that you are never old enough to be taught what a denominator or numerator is. My spelling is bad… on a good day and atrocious on a bad day… thank God for spell check.

I believe in God and prayer. I also believe in religious freedom and tolerance. I believe that God created all things and that there is beauty in everything.

The Weekend

I'm now done with three of the four books in the Twilight series. Do not ask me why I am so addicted to the story, the books, the characters and the romance - I'm not one to read fiction but this series seems to draw me in.

I am hoping to start reading the last book, Breaking Dawn, this week. I'll get going on my masters thesis once I'm done with this book :) (Will post on this subject soon)

Had my first yoga class for 2010 - it still hurts in so many places :( Had a successful shopping trip with B, T and Y. Finally bought the pillow that my mum never stops praising.

Had a smoked trout and cream cheese sandwich at Woolies Cafe - Wow is all I can say.

Spend Sunday reading, sleeping, watching movies. Sometimes that is all you need to get you energised for the week ahead.

Am loving this grey skies, cool air, rainy weather!

Pic unrelated to topic.

My brother got a new camera and took this gorgeous photo of his cat Felix - he emailed this to me to show off.

The little things

It's the little things that make me smile - like the pic above - my two favourite males.

Been a bit irritable this week. Not having things go my way makes me irritable :) But after picking my car up this morning I feel a whole lot better. Hopefully I won't have to go back to Daihatsu for a long long time. They claim it was a manufacturing fault on the oil filter but I think they put it in wrong when they changed it and OVERFILLED THE OIL causing it to spring a leak.

Deep breath.

I got home yesterday and my darling cat*, Asif, wrapped his tail around my ankle and looked me in the eye waiting for me to take the hint and rub his tummy :)

Yes, it's definitely the little things...

*I have two... will do a post on them soon.

Banging my head against the wall

My little car - the one in the pic - taken while the wheel alignment was being done. Sweet, happy, easy going car. No real trouble in the 9 years I've had her.

So why the title of this post? Let me explain.

Early December 2009 I took my dear car for it's 100 000km service. It came back with more problems it didn't have when it went in. I complained. They told me nothing was wrong. My father drove the car and wrote a list of 7 things they need to check.

They checked the things on the list and my car was back to it's old self. Forward a week later and I begin to notice the now countless oil circles in my parking space at home.

Early January I complain to head office, the customer relations manager, another branch and one of the managers at the original branch. No positive response.

Rather pissed off with no real way of expressing my anger (really not good at expressing my anger) I call up B who being the lovely man he is, makes a few calls and tomorrow morning I head back to the original branch to be seen to the minute I arrive!

I am beyond angry and frustrated - I'm dissapointed in the service we get in this country. It's disgusting to say the least. I have stories of bad service that will take weeks to tell you about and no i'm not an unreasonable person. I'm actually rather timid and very, very rarely do I get angry - ask anyone who knows me.

I'll post an update on my car tomorrow. For now I'm going to leave the office and buy a big ice cream to cheer me up :)

Almost Thirty

I'm 411 days away from turning thirty.

It's the 11th of January 2010 - new year, new decade. Time for a fresh start. Hence this blog. I've been wanting to start a blog for a long time now. Not because EVERYONE else was doing it, but, because I wanted to have a place that I could write down what I was thinking, feeling, doing, etc. without revealing my identity.

That space has now been created :) Welcome to my blog!